102 Ways to tell if you are Chinese

• You don't order sweet and sour pork, egg foo young, or chop suey at a chinese restaurant.
• You have a really nice pager, with an alphanumeric display.
• You have a cellular phone, even though you don't really need it.
• You drive a Honda.
• You take showers at night.
• You'll learn about sex from someone other then your parents.
• You'll be convinced your parents had sex as many times as required to produce you and your siblings.
• You've never seen your parents kiss.
• You've never seen your parents hug.
• You never get presents from your parents - only money in red envelope for your birthday, Christmas, graduation, etc.
• You always hear about how great so-and-so's son or daughter is.
• Your mom makes medicine by boiling twigs for 10 hours.
• Your mom makes you drink this nasty, bitter medicine
• Your parents wish you would give 30% of your income to them.
• Your childhood is filled with painful memories of the long feather duster ("Guy Mo So")
• You never drink tea with sugar
• Your clothes smell like fried foods.
• Your grandmother lives with you and your family.
• You never order dessert at restaurants.
• You get the runs when you drink lots of milk.
• Most girls have more body hair than you if you are male.
• You have a great love for cameras.
• You eat rice every day
• Your parents don't want you to move out when you turn 18.
• You have a chinese knick-knack hanging on your rearview mirror.
• You like to eat chicken feet.
• You suck on fish heads and fish fins.
• You turn bright red after drinking 2 tablespoons of beer.
• You can get a buzz on Coors Cutter, O'douls, or Miller Sharps.
• You look like you are 18.
• You always look up at women, if you are male.
• You always look up at chinese men, if you are female.
• You live at your parents house, and you are not claimed as a dependent by them.
• You sing Karaoke.
• You entire house is covered with tile.
• You have those plastic walkways covering your hallway and other heavy foot traffic areas.
• You have plastic or some other kind of cover on your furniture.
• You leave the plastic on your lampshade for 10 years or more.
• You have an incredible amount of clutter in your house.
• You can't bear to throw away things.
• You are an engineer.
• Your dad washes his hair 4 times a year.
• You hate getting B's.
• Your house smells like preserved fish.
• Your house smells like chinese medicine.
• You have about 12-20 uncles and aunts.
• You've never kissed your mom or dad.
• You've never hugged your mom or dad.
• Your unassisted vision is worse than 20/500.
• You wear contacts, to avoid wearing your "coke bottle glasses".
• You've worn glasses since you were in kindergarten.
• You had a bowl cut before.
• Your parents own a restaurant or grocery store.
• Your parents want to live with you when they are old.
• You tap the table when someone pours tea for you.
• You point to your nose when referring to yourself.
• You say "Aiya!" and "Wah!" frequently.
• You love Las Vegas, slot machines, and blackjack.
• You love to play Mahjong.
• You never sleep with your hair wet.
• You have to read all your parents' mail written in english.
• Your parents ask you if you are home when you come home. ("Faan nei lah?")
• You get a knuckle in your skull if you are being punished by your parents.
• You have custom rims on your Honda.
• You are constantly being set up with uninteresting people by your parents.
• You hate eating cheese.
• You have a 50 pound bag of rice at home in a huge tin container

(I got this from my friend and it cracked me up because it's so true. So... since it is quite true... then i'm confirm an ah pek lar... hahahahha)